Knowing When To Walk Away

"Behind every great man is a great woman"
~Unknown

There are many vital things that women, particularly loving, loyal, and good women, bring into a man's life that can make an enormously positive impact.  As with most things in life the opposite is also true.  Behind the downfall of every man (great or not) is most often times a woman.

I've seen many men's lives destroyed by a single relationship equal to those of drug addicts or alcoholics.  This post will primarily focus on when you should walk away from a relationship. 


The mentality of most men today, especially the ones who have had little to no success with women, is "I just want a girlfriend or wife".   Most men have lived with these Common Myths most of their lives and if they should "get lucky" and land a relationship, the woman becomes the center of his world.  He is so happy to not be alone that he will do anything to hold onto her...no matter what.

Due to inexperience, most men don't know when they have driven attraction and challenge out of their relationships.  Even worse, most men don't know when they're with a woman with core character flaws. (In a separate post we'll dissect specific character flaws and how to spot them).

For the purpose of this post, it doesn't matter if the woman has great character traits or has horrible character traits.  The only thing you need to understand and accept is that if you see any of these signs in your relationship, she has already mentally and emotionally moved on and/or is preparing herself to move on.

A man will think that the following factors indicate the beginning of her unhappiness but in reality this is at the end of her thought process and the woman is essentially already gone.  Unfortunately most men today hold on out of desperation and cluelessness and believe they can resuscitate their relationship, when the woman inevitably leaves, the man is left completely shocked and dumbfounded.


Time

When a woman's attraction drops, the first thing that goes is her time. All of a sudden she is busier than usual and she has less and less time for you. You see her less, you talk to her less, and your conversations are usually less "fluid" even when you do talk.

Often times a woman seems to have less time for you because she is out with friends, spending more time at work, or doing other hobbies. But she really isn't "busy" as she claims. She just wants to spend less time with you.

Once time goes, other things are sure to follow and it all leads to her eventually breaking up with you. You're just too blind to see it because at this point, she has convinced you that she really is just "busy".


Accountability

When a woman's attraction for you starts to slide, her accountability to you and the relationship starts to slide as well.  Some examples are:

1. She calls you much less, especially when she is out or traveling.
2. She doesn't return your calls or texts as often as before.
3. She puts herself in situations that jeopardize your relationship such as going to clubs, pool parties, getting drunk around other guys, having girl's nights out and behaving as if she was single, etc.
4. She is no longer forth coming about details of her activities.  Women who are faithful and still attracted to you will naturally tell you details about what she did and who she was with because she has nothing to hide.  Women love to share but that's one of the first things that go when she is no longer happy in her relationship.

By nature, women who respect you will want to feel responsible to you.  Women who say things such as, "I don't need your permission to do anything" or have that general attitude is a woman who is on her way out.


Priority

Similar to "Accountability", when a woman is challenged by a man, feels deep attraction, and has her heart into the relationship she will make you her priority.  Work, family, or friends won't take priority over you because she naturally wants to give you first priority. 

Feminists have helped ruined many happy relationships for women by convincing them that they need to show their independence and not give up anything for a man (We'll discuss how women have empowered themselves out of healthy and happy relationships in a separate post).  But despite that, women will naturally want to put you first when she's happy in her relationship. 

If you find that she's cancelling dates or putting other people's feelings, needs and wants above yours all the time, then your relationship will most likely end very soon.


Misunderstandings

Women who are pulling away from you always seem to have "misunderstandings" that come up.  The misunderstandings can come in various forms but the common denominator is that your interest or feelings are put into jeopardy.  The main key is that when women explain these "misunderstandings", the excuses are always probable but very unlikely. 

The bottom line is it puts you in an unfair position where you're a fool if you believe the excuse but you seem like a jerk if you don't.  You're put into this position even though you had nothing to do with her actions or the event.  

You'll find that when a woman is attracted to you and committed to the relationship, these "misunderstandings" rarely occur, if ever.  The lack of time, lack of accountability and your reduction in her priority list is what causes these "misunderstandings" because you're feeling the slide and she is trying to convince you otherwise.


Sex/Affection

This is a very obvious and basic sign that a woman is starting to withdrawal from you and the relationship.  Sex will become less frequent but more importantly, her affection for you will clearly diminish.  Her public affection for you will go first.  Then even at home whereas before she would lay on you when she sleeps, she'll sleep clear on the other side of the bed.  If she gave you massages before, that will be non-existent.  If she used to kiss you for no reason, now she only kisses you hello or goodbye.  These are of course common indicators but there will be many other small things that is specific to each couple.

These little things women can't hide.  Subconsciously they don't want to.  All these signs are an indication of her declining feelings for you and a clear indicator of her impending exit from the relationship.


Male Friends

Women who are pulling away will always have an increase in male friends.  The fact is, when a woman starts to pull away she will start to put herself in positions to meet other men. They'll claim they're just friends but they're reveling in the attention and deciding who they'll be moving onto next.  Of course all the while she'll be keeping you around for comfort and security.

This is usually the last step before she gives you the "I need space" speech.  You'll find that women who are about to leave their relationship always display a lot of the traits that are Building Blocks of Affairs.


Common Verbal Cues:

When women are ready to leave a relationship, there are universal physical indicators as we've outlined above.  There are also verbal cues that most women express when they're looking to "let you down easy".

The following are common verbal expressions that women will tell you when they're on their way out.  But of course, like most female communication deliveries, it won't be clear to you.  The right column in the chart below shows the translation.

*Click on the table for a larger view

Women Will Punish You For Your Weakness

Ask any "nice guy" who has ever been blindsided by a woman leaving a relationship and he'll be able to testify to the cruelty of women.  The truth of the matter is, women are only cruel when they feel distain for you.  And nothing brings out women's distain faster than a man showing weakness; a man who is spineless, a man who cannot stand by his principles, or flat out has no principles at all. 

By and large women are pretty nice about it when they leave you the first time.  But if you're foolish enough to stick around or take her back then each subsequent break-up will be increasingly cruel.  Women will punish you for your weaknesses.  They won't consciously think of it that way, but the "heartlessness" that you experience is a direct result from her contempt for your weak willed behaviors and your inability to walk away like a man.

Reasons Why Guys Can't Leave

There is only one single reason why men cannot walk away from a relationship when the woman is showing some or all of those signs above: Desperation.  In our next couple of posts we'll dive into what contributes to the disease of Desperation and how a lot of men talk themselves into staying in the relationship out of Fear that they won't be able to find another woman.


If you notice your woman showing one or more of those indicators as listed above, she is on her way out and has already prepared herself to leave.  Chances are you've stopped being a man and you've displayed too many Nice Guy weaknesses.  The fact that she is leaving is already settled.  The only question left is do you walk away with some dignity before she leaves you?   

In other words, will your last act in the relationship be that of a strong man or will your final decision of staying out of fear and desperation remind her of why she was right to leave you in the first place?

Recommended Reading

1) "Standards" by Susan J. Elliot