Nice Guys Will Always Finish Last

If you're a guy who...

1) ...is always the friend but never the boyfriend
2) ...treated your girlfriend really well but she broke up with you anyway and now you don't understand why

...then read on because this one's for you.

The basic question that has been debated thousands of times is, "Do nice guys finish last?" and I believe that very few people have arrived at the correct answer because the question is asked incorrectly.

The debate isn't "Nice Guys vs Jerks", it's "Weak Guys vs Strong Guys".  In a separate post I'll dive into what are the elements of a "strong guy" but for this post we'll breakdown what are symptoms of a "weak guy".  In my foundation post "Ideal Relationship Model", I talked about a core component in any solid relationship: Passion.  Most men today have no idea what that is.  You can't create passion till you can create attraction and 80% of guys walking around today know nothing about creating attraction in a woman.

When I started to study men/women dynamics, there was very little help out there for guys.  Men, young and old, were constantly getting slaughtered in the dating game and left alone, confused, and wondering if they'll ever "just get a girlfriend".   Today there are more teachers out there who can genuinely help men who suffered from what I call the "brain washing of men".  This brain washing has lead to these Common Myths Most Men Carry All Their Lives.

But regardless of how many books you read or what school of game you subscribe to, there are some basic core issues that you have to deal with if you want to have beautiful, decent, caring, loving women in your life.

These are the most basic of mistakes that a man makes that destroy his chances of ever having a woman feel any sort of sexual attraction towards him:

1) You compliment her excessively and frequently. You basically put her on a pedestal right out of the gate.

2) You try to gain her attraction through buying her dinners and gifts. She may feel some affection and appreciation for you (like a brother), but she'll never ever feel sexual attraction for you.

3) You never want to say or do anything controversial.  You are agreeable, considerate, and sensitive to her every need.

4) You are always looking for her approval or permission.

5) You are constantly available. Whenever she calls, texts, or email you are at her beck and call.

6) You never say "No" to anything she asks.  You basically "give her the world".

7) You put up with bad behavior from women.  They test you with ex-boyfriends, immature demands, emotional mood swings, temper tantrums and you bend over backwards to accommodate.

8) You share "how you feel about her" long before she ever shows any sexual interest in you.

Among all the mistakes that guys make, the last one is the one that puts the nail in their coffin.  Even guys with girlfriends do it. There are thousands of men out there that make these mistakes and when the woman says, "I need some space" or starts to have less time for him, the first thing he does is....yep you guessed it....tell her how he feels even more!  He thinks, "If ONLY she knew EXACTLY how I felt about her, then she'll feel the same about me."  And as every woman can tell you, when a man does this, she simply retreats further.

The above 8 mistakes are the most common symptoms all clueless men make, but the underling disease is Fear.  Fear of women. Fear of rejection. You look at a beautiful woman in a coffee shop, at a bar, in a club, at a lounge and you are petrified with fear.  You have no idea what to say, your first thoughts are of rejection, anxiety, and you are genuinely worried about what this stranger will think of you.  You've made her out to be this perfect human being and therefore you must be beneath her.  All this goes through your mind in 5 seconds flat before you even take a step towards her.

And in that situation, what do most men do?  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  So after years of no success, if you happen to "get lucky" and land that all important girlfriend, you begin to value her like she is the center of your world...because in reality...she is.  You're Desperate.  You fear losing her because you have no idea when the next girl is coming along and you proceed to make all the mistakes that I listed above.

These are the bare bones, basic internal problems of why you aren't successful with women.  It isn't because you're not good looking enough, tall enough, rich enough, funny enough, or whatever other excuses you believe.  It doesn't matter if you're 15 or 50, these will be the same issues you'll carry throughout the rest of your life if you don't understand how attraction in women really works. 

This is not about making you into a jerk, but make no mistake that currently you are weak.  Deep down inside you know it and all women you come into contact with know it.  Each post under the label "Men's Edition" will be focused on undoing the incorrect thinking and all the misconceptions that you've been raised to believe.

This is a mandatory book for all men trying to "de-brainwash" themselves from their nice guy upbringing: No More Mr. Nice Guy


"Let us understand definitively that sexual attraction is not about being a nice guy, it’s not about showing her how much you care (at first), it’s not about accommodating her whims, it’s not about trying to gain her approval, it’s not about doing what she says she wants, it’s not about liking the things she says she likes, it’s not about begging, giving away your power, getting her phone number, dating for a month before sex, trying to convince her logically, or any of the other common misconceptions about romance that are perpetuated in our social programming by Hollywood movies, Disney cartoons and well-intentioned mothers."

~ Revelation, 
Chris Odom


*Follow Up Topic: The 4 Types Of Women That Will Date Nice Guys