Women's Worst Enemy: Her Ego

Often times we hear that "men have a big ego".  It's actually pretty funny to me to hear women say that.  Men have a lot of pride, but honestly, very few men on this planet have a big ego.  Growing up, most men experience enough set backs, heartbreaks, and get turned down by enough girls to keep us fairly realistic about the realities of life.

Most women, however, have an ego the size of Texas.  Let me explain and offer some examples that if you as a woman are reading should recognize pretty clearly.

We'll take the recent headline that a 4th woman came forward claiming that she had an affair with Jesse James, the husband of Sandra Bullock.  Now, at the time of this posting, none of the women have given any interviews so officially we don't know why they're all coming forward now.  But let me venture this guess:

Nearly every woman who has ever had an affair with a married man (or even a man with a girlfriend) always believes she is the only one.  (I cannot help but laugh when I hear this...seriously, truly laugh!).   So in this particular case, Michelle McGee is James' most recent mistress and she believed him when he told her that either:

A) He is going to or already has left Bullock.
B) She is the woman of his dreams and she is more special than any other woman he's been with.
C) How much better, sexier, smarter, etc. she is than his wife.

It'll be some combination of the above.

So come Oscar night and Sandra Bullock wins an Oscar and during her acceptance speech she profusely thanks her husband and more important, he in turn gushes about her.  James said in reference to Bullock on Oscar night, "She's beautiful. She's amazing. She takes my breath away. Sometimes I look at her and I do, I just lose my breath"

This completely pissed off McGee because he probably said something similar to her and now it is obvious he has no intentions of leaving Bullock.  Out of hurt and anger, McGee then rats to the tabloids. The other 3 mistresses now see an opportunity to cash in on their story too.  Some of them, like McGee, was probably under the impression they were the only one.  More women will most likely step forward in the coming weeks.

If you've ever listened to any of Tiger Wood's mistresses, most of them had the same story and thought process.

So now some of you are reading this and thinking, "That's THOSE type of women...regular, normal women don't go around sleeping with married men. I'm NOTHING like that". You don't think so, eh?  Before you throw stones, have you never flirted with a married guy or another woman's boyfriend just "out of curiosity"? Or because you thought he was "safe" and "probably wouldn't do anything"?  I bet if you think back real hard, you'll know at least one girlfriend from your own life who either slept with a married man or took a boyfriend away from another woman.  Just because you technically have never slept with a married man, don't be so quick to conclude that you must be so vastly different from these women.

Of course some women have bigger egos than others. In fact, I've been fortunate enough to have a few women in my life that were on the lower end of the ego scale.  However, if you're wondering where you land on that scale, here are some tell tale signs that your ego is probably your own worst enemy:

1. You constantly have drama in your life but you always feel that it isn't your fault, that "bad things just happen to me."

2. You've had several bad relationships and you say things like, "I have bad luck", "I have a bad picker", or "I just attract bad guys".

3. When people warn you against someone or something, you want to do it that much more to "prove them wrong".

4. You tend to love the challenge of men who are taken.  You think that if you can make him be faithful to you, then it validates your beauty and sexuality.  You feel that he'll be different with you because you're special....he told you so.

5. You compete with women everywhere you go, even your own girlfriends.

6. When in an affair, you refuse to let go because you feel that you're "this close to taking him away from her".

7. It doesn't matter what your close friends or family say about the bad relationship you're in, you know better, you "know him" and you "see the good in him" that no one can see.

The most ironic thing of all is that women who are most susceptible to being involved with a married man are the quickest to ridicule other women for being stupid, naive, and weak.  Bullock said this about Tiger's wife a mere 10 weeks ago, "If I were Elin, man, I would have hit a lot more than she did. She stopped, she was respectable. I'd get the baseball bat, I'd get everything out."  Hilarious.

Regardless of what she says, Bullock won't file for divorce.  If she does, she'll be the rare exception and not the rule.  She'll make noise about it, then quietly reconcile and give it another try.  They'll eventually divorce, but it won't be due to these cheating scandals.  She won't leave. Most women in these situations don't.  Why? See the title of this post. 

Source Links:

Girl #4 Claims Affair with Jesse James

Sandra Bullock's Words for Tiger's Wife

Jesse James Gushes About Sandra Bullock

*Epilogue: If you're reading this post many years after the time it was written, you may not know or care who Sandra Bullock is.  It doesn't matter.  Simply replace her and her husband with either a couple you know from your personal life, from your own life, or whichever couple happens to be in the headlines.

As a matter of fact, I wrote the core pieces of this post for my private files about 6 years ago.  For this posting I simply changed the names and added a few sentences to fit current events. People making these decisions and entering these type of relationships will always be the same.