Strategies That Will Ensure Your Failures

Men today spend a lot of time, energy, and money in an attempt to be able to date beautiful women.  As a result it is very common for men to be in a constant search for that silver bullet or that one BEST STRATEGY that will unlock the mysteries of dating women.  We have said time and time again that there is no such thing.

With over a decade of coaching men through this nice guy epidemic, I have found that most men deploy 1 of 3 strategies that will all but ensure their continued struggles with women.  Before we get into the strategies, I would like to first offer some definitions:

Mindset

• Understanding women's attraction processes and psychology
• Removing the "nice guy" brain washing
• Removing your shame in what you want as a man
• Removing your limiting beliefs about yourself
• Overcoming your irrational fears and anxieties about women
• Developing true self worth and self esteem

Approach

• Good body language when talking to women
• Good facial expression when talking to women
• Good tonality when talking to women
• Having interesting, challenging, and entertaining topics of conversations
• Knowing how to talk to a group of women (2 or more)
• Good social awareness on saying the right thing at the right time (calibration)
• Knowing when to physically escalate
• Knowing how to have a normal conversation
• Being genuinely interested in what a woman is sharing with you during a conversation

  Lifestyle

• Dressing well
• Being physically fit
• Having interesting hobbies
• Getting a good education
• Having a good career
• Having financial security
• Having good friends
• Knowledgeable about fun places to go in his city/town
• Well traveled or interested in traveling
• Well read

3 Common Strategies
Men are most likely going to deploy 1 of the 3 strategies below.  Each strategy will offer a different type of negative result(s).

A man deploying a "Mindset Centric" strategy will display the following factors:

1. Analysis Paralysis.  He will read a ton of books on dating and self improvement, post on a bunch of forums and participate in lengthy discussions, but he will very rarely approach women. 

2. He will know a ton of principles and theories on what he is SUPPOSED to do but he will not know how to EXECUTE on any of them because he lacks actual EXPERIENCE.

3. He will have done very little to improve any facets of his lifestyle.

4. He will go around asking dating coaches, "Do you think this is true?" about concepts or strategies that he learned or heard from other dating coaches.  He wants to get a 100% consensus before he takes any action.  Most of the time he is trying to find loopholes to not believe something because it's either too difficult or goes against his "nice guy" beliefs.

5. Often times even though he learns a lot about attraction principles, he will still not do the most important mental work of all, which is his own self worth as a man. 

Results: This man will end up confused with the enormous amount of seemingly conflicting information in his head.  He will make himself even more anxious in actually talking to women.  Often times the man ends up just as alone as before he started reading about women and dating.

A man deploying an "Approach Centric" strategy will display the following factors:

1. He will talk to many women but will experience mostly rejections.  Women will often say to him, "I have a boyfriend" or smile and say, "Thank you" and leave.

2. He may get phone numbers but the women will be non-responsive to texts and calls.  He will rarely get them out on a date or be able to generate any romantic or sexual interest.

3. He will experience a lot of flaking even when women agree to a date.

4. He is only focused on dating being a "numbers game" with no understanding of how women's attraction processes really work.  Even if he has read a few books, he has not absorbed any of the principles about female psychology.

5. He has not done any work on his own insecurities, limiting beliefs, or fears.  As a result, his vibe repels most women in all of his approaches.

6. He may spend hours at a public venue only to approach 2 women.

7. He will usually lack sexual vibe in his interactions with women.

8. Often times, even though he is heavily focused on approaching, he has not really developed good body language and a polished routine to be able to generate even minimal attraction.

Results: This man will end up very frustrated because he feels that he has to approach hundreds of women to get one date.  It takes a huge toll on his pride and self worth.  Eventually this inefficiency will lead him to either give up or simply take what comes along.

A man deploying a "Lifestyle Centric" strategy will display the following factors:

1) He will expect that having education, money, and being fit should mean that women automatically should just have sex with him.

2) He will be very frustrated that men who he deems less of a "catch" than he is are able to date women that he cannot.

3) He will have interesting hobbies, but he will still not be able to date the type of women he really wants.

4) He will usually have no problems getting phone numbers and going on the first couple of dates, but will struggle when it comes to sex and having a girlfriend.

5) He will have very little understanding of what women emotionally need to feel sexual and romantic attraction for a man. 

6) He will not know how to talk to women in such a way where she will be intriqued by him.  He believes that he should just be able to show up and women should be approaching him.

7) He will feel that his only value is monetary.

8) People in his life will say things such as, "He has a good job, decent looking, and seems like such a nice guy, I wonder why he never has a girlfriend?"

9) Often times even though he is focused on having a good lifestyle, he will spend a lot of time being very lathargic in most areas of his life.  He leans more talking about what he is "going to do" rather than what he has done.

Results: This man will end up with a heavy entitlement complex and will come across very bitter and resentful at women for not wanting him.


Men who do not approach their issues with women from a holistic standpoint will end up:

1) Angry with women.
2) Feeling horrible about themselves.
3) Taking any attractive woman that comes along, which will usually lead to a relationship based on Desperation.

Obviously the most healthy and effective method would be a strategy that balances all 3 areas equally. In the beginning this is a lot of work. Most men are lazy and don't want to put in the time. However, the irony is that if you put in the work up front, eventually each of the 3 areas will feed the other and the whole process actually becomes easier.

Read the following, "Solutions", to implement some suggested tasks that will help you get out of the hampster wheel you're currently running in.