Why Women Are Attracted To Assholes

Out of the many mysteries of why women do what they do, this particular question is probably on top of the list: Why do women fall for assholes and jerks?

To break down this particular mystery, let’s define what we mean by “asshole”. When we use this term, it can mean any of the following:

• Guys who are rude and indifferent
• Guys who can’t stay faithful
• Guys who don’t really care
• Guys who lie
• Guys who won’t ever commit
• Guys who rarely do what women ask of them
• Guys who seem to be "dead beats" or "losers"
• Guys who treat women poorly

Every “nice guy” has known a beautiful, smart, funny, classy woman who has several “good guys” after her, yet she will give her heart and soul to the guy who treats her badly. It’s difficult for a guy to understand why women would go down this path.

However, if you break down women’s psyche and the world in which they live in, it is actually not difficult to understand why most normal, attractive, desirable women would fall hard for an “asshole”.

We’ll first break down what women truly need, then we’ll analyze how most men behave around beautiful women, then finally we’ll explain why women fall for men who seemingly treat them so poorly.


What Women Truly Need

Women are primarily emotional beings, as oppose to men who are visual and logical creatures. The single most important thing for a woman is that she FEELS for a man. This could be joy, love, hate, anger, etc. It doesn’t matter what she feels so long as she feels. They need to feel alive. The more successful and beautiful the woman, the more she will need and love “drama”. Look at the soap operas they watch and romance novels they read. It has little interest to men, but to women they can get completely lost in that world.

The worst thing to do to a woman is to not make her feel at all. In other words, BOREDOM will turn off a woman immediately. Women always need challenges. They love to seduce and chase. Without this element, they will quickly get bored of a man. They’ll always feel that something is missing, even if they can’t put their finger on it.


How Most Men React to Beautiful Women

What do most guys usually think when they see a beautiful, successful woman? Guys automatically assume that woman must need to be treated like a Queen or a Princess in order for her to even THINK about going out with a guy.

While women say they want a “nice guy”, if you look at the evidence and the results, that’s hardly ever the case. We all know tons of “nice guys” who are always single and alone.  We break this down in more detail for men here: "Nice Guys Will Always Finish Last".  So in reality, if a woman is being put on a pedestal, she is not being challenged and will eventually be bored of the guys who are always willing to bend over backwards for her.

Women do not want a guy to be a doormat. They do not want a guy that she can walk all over. 

The Reality of a Woman’s World

The life of an attractive woman is vastly different than that of a man's. In a man’s world we must chase and risk rejection, even good looking guys must face rejection.  In a woman’s world she is constantly being chased. Any half way desirable woman knows she can get a man in bed if she wants.

Men everywhere will chase her. The problem is those men will too needy, too available, too weak, and too desperate. They will put her on a pedestal. They will profess their undying love after the 2nd date. They don’t make her feel anything. Sure she feels flattered, but once that wears off, she is seeking something else.


Why Assholes Are So Attractive

Unfortunately, in this age of feminizing men, women are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with the amount of mentally and emotionally strong men they have to choose from.

This is where the “asshole” comes in. Yes, the asshole might have tons of qualities that seem negative, but at least he doesn’t give in to the woman. At least he makes her chase. He’s a challenge and he makes her FEEL. Her friends and family will tell her, “He’s not good enough for you”, “He’s an asshole”, or “You can do so much better than him.” However, the woman will continue to go back to him.

Her reasoning will include one or more of the following:

• You don’t understand him; he’s not always like that.
• We have something special that no one understands.
• I know he really loves me.
• I just love him and I don’t know why.
• He’s different, there’s something about him that I can’t put my finger on.
• He doesn’t mean to hurt me.

A woman will always talk about leaving the “asshole”, but she will always go back because there isn’t enough men in this world that can stand up to beautiful woman and not lay down like a doormat. She misses the drama. She’s drawn to it like a moth to a flame.


Healthy Challenge vs. Unhealthy Challenge

So what does this mean? Should all men just treat women poorly? Absolutely not. The idea is to be a man who has his own standards; a man with a backbone who will not bow down to women. A relationship should be about balance. So long as both parties are treating each other equally, then the relationship is healthy.

Most women that read this article will disagree initially because they don’t even understand it themselves. If women are truly honest with themselves, they’ll admit that most of the time they do things and they don’t understand why they’ve done it. Women are illogical because they are emotional creatures.

Beautiful women tend to go for assholes not because there’s something wrong with them. It’s due to the fact that they need challenges, it’s in their biology. The problem comes when the challenge takes on a life of its own and it consumes the woman and she loses complete control.

The only way out of that nasty cycle is when she realizes that she doesn’t truly love the man. It started off as a challenge that has gone badly and what beat her was her ego.  We discuss a woman's ego here in this post: "Women's Worst Enemy: Her Ego".  In her world, she can get any man she wants and yet here is this ONE guy who won’t do what she wants. She becomes obsess with the challenge and it transforms into feelings for a man, which for all intents and purposes, is completely destructive to her life.

Women must accept the fact that their attraction triggers are not based on intelligence or logic.  Only when they can be honest with themselves can they move onto healthy challenges and not gravitate to ones that are detrimental to their life.