Why I Do What I Do

Over the years a lot of people have asked me common questions:

1) Why do you do what you do?
2) Why are you so hard on guys?


It wasn't that long ago when boys learned how to be real men from their fathers, uncles, and older brothers. They grew up and in turn taught their sons (as well as be a good example for their daughters). 90% of men who come to dating coaches and forums for help is due to the fact that they didn't have a strong Father or father figure.  Same can be said for women who have problems with relationships; they never had a solid Father to serve as an example of who they should choose as a boyfriend or husband.

We now live in a society where boys don't have anyone to pass down the basic wisdom of life that used to be passed down from generation to generation.

I'm very fortunate to have a strong, dedicated, and wonderful Father who taught me integrity, hard work and how to be a good person. I had a mother who loved me unconditionally and supported me no matter what. Yet despite that foundation, I still at times fell victim to the male-bashing, feminist-driven culture I grew up under. So for boys who didn't have my foundation, it is certainly not hard to see why we have lost 3 generations of men.

I've always been taught that if you get to a position in life where you're fortunate enough to be able to help others that you do so. And you do so not for accolades or praise, but because it's part of a bigger karma. I'm paraphrasing this but my Father taught me that the person you help today may end up saving your life or the life of someone you love tomorrow.

I'm hard on some these guys because they've grown up in a world where they've been cuddled; so a gentle approach will rarely work, though at times that is necessary depending on the person or situation.  However, most of the time it doesn't shock them out of their comfort zones. For nearly all of them, meeting me is the first time they have heard the cold hard truth.

Children today are growing up in homes that are broken; mentally and emotionally destructive.  Some grow up fearful of everything, while others lash out and hurt others and/or themselves; all of them are stunted, entitled, narcissistic, and ill prepared for life.  The only solution is with men being strong leaders and Fathers again, who can teach the value of integrity, strength, and goodness.  It is truly our responsibility.

Starfish

“Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so, he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out "Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young man paused, looked up, and replied "Throwing starfish into the ocean."

"I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?" asked the somewhat startled wise man.

To this, the young man replied, "The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don't throw them in, they'll die."

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, "But, young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach and there are starfish all along every mile? You can't possibly make a difference!"

At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean. As it met the water, he said,  "It made a difference for that one.” 

― Loren Eiseley